The title right there^ is read "ee ka getsu". It means one month. So that's how much I had left as of yesterday. This trip has been amazing, and the people that mean the most to me know they do, because I won't stop telling them.
"So lately, I've been wonderin
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you
Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love
I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart and your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time
If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go"
"You left me with goodbye and open arms
A cut so deep I don't deserve
Well you were always invincible in my eyes
And the only thing against us now is time
Could it be any harder to say goodbye
live without you,
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true
If I only had one more day
I lie down and blind myself with laughter
Well A quick fix of hope is what I'm needin'
And how I wish that I could turn back the hours
But I know I just don't have the power yea
Well I'd jump at the chance
We'd drink and we'd dance
And I'd listen close to your every word,
As if it's your last, but I know it's your last,
Cause today, oh, you're gone.
Could it be any harder
Could it be any harder
Oh yea yea could it be any harder to live my life without you?
Could it be any harder? I'm all alone, I'm all alone.
Like sand on my feet
The smell of sweet perfume
You stick to me forever baby
I wish you didn't go,
I wish you didn't go,
I wish you didn't go away
To touch you again,
With life in your hands.
It couldn't be any harder."
"Things are changing
It seems strange and
I need to figure this out
You've got your life
I got mine
But you're all I cared about
Yesterday we were laughing
Today I'm left here asking
Where has all the time gone now
I'm left alone somehow
Growing up and getting older
I don't want to believe it's over
Don't say goodbye
Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight
Cause maybe it's not the end for you and I
And although we knew
This time would come for me and you
Don't say anything tonight
If you're gonna say goodbye
Do you remember
In December
How we swore we'd never change
Even though you're leaving
That our feelings
Would always stay the same
I wish we could be laughing
Instead I'm standing here asking
Do we have to end this now
Can we make it last somehow
We both know what we've gotta say, not today
Cause I don't wanna leave this way
And if it's over
It hurts but I'm giving you my word
I hope that you're always
Happy like we were
Happy like we were
Yesterday we were laughing
Today I'm left here asking
And although we knew this time would come for me and you
Don't say anything tonight
If you're gonna say goodbye"
"It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back when you call me
No need to say goodbye
Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye"
this music list was:
The calling- wherever you will go
"So lately, I've been wonderin
Who will be there to take my place
When I'm gone, you'll need love
To light the shadows on your face
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
And between the sand and stone
Could you make it on your own
If I could, then I would
I'll go wherever you will go
Way up high or down low
I'll go wherever you will go
And maybe, I'll find out
The way to make it back someday
To watch you, to guide you
Through the darkest of your days
If a great wave should fall
It would fall upon us all
Well I hope there's someone out there
Who can bring me back to you
Runaway with my heart
Runaway with my hope
Runaway with my love
I know now, just quite how
My life and love might still go on
In your heart and your mind
I'll stay with you for all of time
If I could turn back time
I'll go wherever you will go
If I could make you mine
I'll go wherever you will go"
"You left me with goodbye and open arms
A cut so deep I don't deserve
Well you were always invincible in my eyes
And the only thing against us now is time
Could it be any harder to say goodbye
live without you,
Could it be any harder to watch you go, to face what's true
If I only had one more day
I lie down and blind myself with laughter
Well A quick fix of hope is what I'm needin'
And how I wish that I could turn back the hours
But I know I just don't have the power yea
Well I'd jump at the chance
We'd drink and we'd dance
And I'd listen close to your every word,
As if it's your last, but I know it's your last,
Cause today, oh, you're gone.
Could it be any harder
Could it be any harder
Oh yea yea could it be any harder to live my life without you?
Could it be any harder? I'm all alone, I'm all alone.
Like sand on my feet
The smell of sweet perfume
You stick to me forever baby
I wish you didn't go,
I wish you didn't go,
I wish you didn't go away
To touch you again,
With life in your hands.
It couldn't be any harder."
"Things are changing
It seems strange and
I need to figure this out
You've got your life
I got mine
But you're all I cared about
Yesterday we were laughing
Today I'm left here asking
Where has all the time gone now
I'm left alone somehow
Growing up and getting older
I don't want to believe it's over
Don't say goodbye
Cause I don't wanna hear those words tonight
Cause maybe it's not the end for you and I
And although we knew
This time would come for me and you
Don't say anything tonight
If you're gonna say goodbye
Do you remember
In December
How we swore we'd never change
Even though you're leaving
That our feelings
Would always stay the same
I wish we could be laughing
Instead I'm standing here asking
Do we have to end this now
Can we make it last somehow
We both know what we've gotta say, not today
Cause I don't wanna leave this way
And if it's over
It hurts but I'm giving you my word
I hope that you're always
Happy like we were
Happy like we were
Yesterday we were laughing
Today I'm left here asking
And although we knew this time would come for me and you
Don't say anything tonight
If you're gonna say goodbye"
"It started out as a feeling
Which then grew into a hope
Which then turned into a quiet thought
Which then turned into a quiet word
And then that word grew louder and louder
'Til it was a battle cry
I'll come back when you call me
No need to say goodbye
Just because everything's changing
Doesn't mean it's never been this way before
All you can do is try to know who your friends are
As you head off to the war
Pick a star on the dark horizon and follow the light
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when it's over
No need to say goodbye
Now we're back to the beginning
It's just a feeling and no one knows yet
But just because they can't feel it too
Doesn't mean that you have to forget
Let your memories grow stronger and stronger
'Til they're before your eyes
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye
You'll come back when they call you
No need to say goodbye"
this music list was:
The calling- wherever you will go
the calling- could it be harder
Skillet- Don't say goodbye
Regina Spektor- The call
This is how I feel. Right now. Not about a person particularly but, actually, yes to a person. To me. To the Miah I've seen in Japan. To the full-potential Miah. Because that's what I've found here. Yes I've had my down times, but even people that don't know me well can see that I'm happy here. They tell my mom that they see me smile here than they have ever before. I don't want to lose who I am, but 10,000 miles can do some damage. I don't wanna say goodbye to Japanese culture and life, the friends I've made here, or the person I've become. Because I like her. As screwed up and crazy as I am sometimes, I'm finally proud of the person I am, with my talents and screw-ups. Everything. Because I know I can keep growing. It's just scary to move on. To move ahead.
Regina Spektor- The call
This is how I feel. Right now. Not about a person particularly but, actually, yes to a person. To me. To the Miah I've seen in Japan. To the full-potential Miah. Because that's what I've found here. Yes I've had my down times, but even people that don't know me well can see that I'm happy here. They tell my mom that they see me smile here than they have ever before. I don't want to lose who I am, but 10,000 miles can do some damage. I don't wanna say goodbye to Japanese culture and life, the friends I've made here, or the person I've become. Because I like her. As screwed up and crazy as I am sometimes, I'm finally proud of the person I am, with my talents and screw-ups. Everything. Because I know I can keep growing. It's just scary to move on. To move ahead.
To be honest, I'm terrified of my future.
Why is it that what we want to become when we're four and five seems so impossible a decade or two later? What changes? Our desires? Of course. When I was young, I wanted to learn to play the guitar, and and drive an ice cream truck drawn by horses instead of running like a normal car. I wanted to play my own Ice cream truck music on my guitar. Now why can't I still have a dream like that? Because you know what I didn't give a single crap about? How much money I would make. I knew I would be happy. That's what was important. Now how horrible is it that at 16 I'm freaking out over the mortgage of my future home or if I can afford to send my future kids to college? I shouldn't have to worry about that. But I do.
I want to do something that will make me happy, that I can be proud of, in a place where I live up to my full potential. I just don't know how. Or where. Or what. Not yet.
And it's scary. Because I'm realizing it's just me and God. And as much as a comfort as He is, I feel alone a lot. So 2013, bring your worst, your best, whatever. I will conquer you, and I will come out stronger in the end. Challenge accepted.
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