ありがとう

Today. 

*deep breath*

It's Thanksgiving back home today.

So what better to do than write here what I'm thankful for, ne?

I am thankful for so much. So here we go.

-the essentials: a roof over my head, water, food. I know there are a lot of people that don't have even these things. I can't leave that out.

-Jesus. Man, seriously, I don't know what I would do without Him. 

-My family. Whether blood related or not, I can't thank you enough. I have been adopted by many families, and it means the world to me that you treat me like your own. Everyone in my family has been so supportive of this trip, even if they didn't want it in the beginning. You guys are constantly on my mind. You are the closest to my heart and I can't wait to see you again.

-Trials. It's weird how God clears things up, ne? I am slowly seeing how God is using things, that I thought were bad, for good. For His plan. Not to mention that trials make you treasure things when you have them. Without trials I don't know if I could ever truly appreciate the good in my life.

-host families. the most generous people on earth. And I have been blessed enough to have two of them. Sae and Ryoko, or Mr and Mrs. Takahashi, Yuhei, Takuya, Keitarou, Atsushi, and Kanoko. It doesn't matter. I still feel their love radiating. It really keeps me going. Good day or bad, these people can always make me smile.

-FIC. I was super worried about finding a good church when I got here. First place I went to in Fukuoka? Fukuoka International Church. Really great place.

-friends. My friends at school are absolutely hilarious. They've ALWAYS got my back. I'm gonna miss these girls, as terrifying as they can be. =) Hikari, Eri, Akari, Abe, Kaho, and countless more. You guys are my homies man. Forever.

-Sam, Les, Pat, Lee, Kazune, Daichi. You guys are the people that I have the most vivid memories with here. Another blessing from FIC. Samantha is my inspiration. She has been in my shoes and strengthens me to push through, even if she doesn't know it. Les knows when to poke fun and when to lend a helping hand or provide a hug. Pat always gets into ridiculous conversations, and I can never help but laugh at the things he says. Be yourself and be proud of it man. Though Lee's first language isn't English, He's got as much deep incite as the rest of us, and never fails to blow my mind the way he words things. Not to mention that piano talent. Kazune, walking back from Oktober Fest. I'm gonna come live with you, mkay?  =) And last but not least, Daichi. The person I forced to become my living diary from the second I walked into church. I am happy to say we're all friends, and I can only hope this will not be the last time I see you all. You're all beautiful, and you've made this trip the amazing trip it has been so far.

-this trip. When I looked into this trip in the early parts of this year, I never thought I would really be here. Every day has brought some knew understanding, whether about myself, others, the past, the future, the present, God, people, earth, Japanese, water crystal formation, doesn't matter. This trip has been a blessing beyond my wildest dreams. I never knew I could love people and a place like I love Fukuoka. God did good, He did real good. Props.

P.S. I left home three months ago today.
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The week before I left for Japan I spoke in chapel. I talked about living everyday as a "once in a lifetime" experience. Because we can never get yesterday back. I think I'm finally really applying that to my life. And not here, I've been doing that for a while. It's easy to make the most of an experience when you know you only have a little bit of time. But when I get back home. I forcing myself to memorize this feeling so that when I get home I won't waste another second. Life's too short.

So to that I say, ありがとう

帰りたくない

I have a bit of a challenge for those of you who want to read this blog today.
Please read the lyrics and make up your own interpretation of how you think this applies to me.  It's a popular song from the movie "Hercules", which has some lovely music in my opinion. Enjoy. I will explain in the end of the post, so if you want to be a fun hater, just skip to the end and read what I have to say. 

If you'd like to listen while reading the lyrics, here's a link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6v_gOmVJ4I

"I have often dreamed
Of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome
Would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer
When they see my face
And a voice keeps saying
This is where I'm meant to be

I'll be there someday
I can go the distance
I will find my way
If I can be strong
I know every mile
Will be worth my whileWhen I go the distance
I'll be right where I belong

Down an unknown road
To embrace my fate
Though that road may wander
It will lead me to you
And a thousand years
Would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime
But somehow I'll see it through

And I won't look back
I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track
No I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope
But I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance
And my journey is complete
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart

Like a shooting star
I will go the distance
I will search the world
I will face its harms
I don't care how far
I can go the distance
Till I find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms...

I will search the world
I will face its harms
Till I find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms

I will go most anywhere
To find where I belong"

....So, what do you think...

To be blunt, as I can most often be, "帰りたくない", the title of today's blog, means "I don't want to return home." I am less than three months from standing in Charlotte, North Carolina. This tears me apart.

I have had the best weekend in the history of Miah being in Japan. My stay here only gets better and better with each day. Literally, all my friends were asking why I was so happy today. I'm just so incredibly blessed to be here and I realized that yesterday. Yesterday, was, without a doubt, the best day I've had since August 22nd. Hanging out with the coolest people in Japan tends to do that. =)

(I have a bit of a depression problem, and I haven't had a down day in quite a while, which, in any situation, is quite simply a miracle.) I couldn't wipe the smile of my face today. I think I experienced a little of what it feels like to be in God's presence. 

When my friends jokingly tell me that I'm just not going home, it starts to make my heart ache because that is really what I want. Now, friends, family, the last thing I want you to think is that I don't miss and love you. That is the farthest thing from the truth. You don't know what I'd give for you to be here right now.

But here's where the song ties in. Currently in life I have a few career choices that I am considering. But with each day that I spend here, the more I feel like I have finally found the place that I belong. I have absolutely no problem seeing myself walking down the main streets of Fukuoka everyday when I'm ready to be off in the world on my own. I simply cannot express the sense of security that God has put in my life in the shape of friendships. Never have I known people to be more welcoming.

Do I feel as though I don't belong in WCCS? Rock Hill? America? Not at all. All of those places are wonderful in their own way. Are there aspects of Japan that I'm not fond of? Absolutely. But imagine when you were a little kid and were putting a puzzle together, (I hope kids still do that) and you had almost finished the entire thing, but the one in the middle that connected them all was missing. And you turned the box over and searched the entire living room floor inch by inch, until finally you found it somewhere all too obvious, like underneath a magazine right next to the puzzle. With that last sweet moment, and you fit that last piece into place, you feel a sense of accomplishment, and it all makes sense. 

That is exactly where I am today, friends, family, mentors, strangers. 

Does this mean I'm 100% sure that in June of 2014 I will be on a plane to Fukuoka, never to see the light of the United States again? Absolutely not. But there is something stirring inside me that says that February of 2013 will not be the last time I set foot in this beautiful city.

So for all of you nerds, you rebels, you goody two shoes, you jocks, you goth kids, you misfits, for you leaders, you followers, you people scared to grow up, you people wanting to be young again, you wanting to get out of your parent's house, you people who don't even know what to call yourself, don't give up hope on your purpose in life.

If you're willing to go the distance, one day it will be evident as to where in this puzzle you belong. Now are you just willing to go most anywhere to find where that is exactly?

ただいま

I really don't know what to put here. I feel as though the last time I uploaded was only yesterday. I hate that time goes so quickly. Every time I share a inside joke with someone, or they do something that they know will make me smile, I get a pain deep in my chest. I know the memories will always stay with me, but it's a shame that the people can't as well.

My host sister, Kano, keeps telling me that I type fast. Ha.

On the lighter side, here's your truly yesterday (Halloween) as my life long aspiration, Stitch:

So there's that nonsense.

In exactly a month from tomorrow I will be taking the N5 Japanese Language Proficiency Test. This is the easiest level, but I am completely terrified. 

Note: I started reading the Bible from Genesis on Sunday. I am taking this adventure with another one of the best youth groups in the world, though these people are back in the States.  We plan to finish, cover to cover, in three months. I have been reading the Bible everyday here, whether it's one chapter or fifteen. 

Japanese gets increasingly difficult each day. You would think it might get easier, but no. Please, if you believe in God, put me in a prayer or two. It would be greatly appreciated. 

So I moved classes. I think God is seeing exactly how stretchy I can be. I was very upset when I was told this, but there's some things you just can't change, especially as an exchange student. I'm just trying to make the best of it all.

Ah, yesterday was my 10 week mark. That means I am soon approaching the half way point. 

I mentioned last post that my church is inexplicably amazing. If I knew bigger words or a better way to describe it I would. Writing has never been my strong point.

Last Sunday was probably one of my favorite days since I've been here. I think each and every day is just getting better and better and I don't want it to end. This experience has brought me back down to earth, has shown me the good in people, the benefit of helping others, the reward for working hard, and the truth in finding out who I am and showing in no matter where I am.

My friends here never cease to amaze me. Though they are dealing with equally if not more difficult situations, they are always prepared to give me a great big hug when I need it, which tends to be weekly. 

The title is literally what you say when you return home from somewhere, but I feel like it fits: I'm home.

I love Japan. Simple as that.