Please read the lyrics and make up your own interpretation of how you think this applies to me. It's a popular song from the movie "Hercules", which has some lovely music in my opinion. Enjoy. I will explain in the end of the post, so if you want to be a fun hater, just skip to the end and read what I have to say.
If you'd like to listen while reading the lyrics, here's a link:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m6v_gOmVJ4I
"I have often dreamed
Of a far off place
Where a hero's welcome
Would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer
When they see my face
And a voice keeps saying
This is where I'm meant to be
I'll be there someday
I can go the distance
I will find my way
If I can be strong
I know every mile
Will be worth my whileWhen I go the distance
I'll be right where I belong
Down an unknown road
To embrace my fate
Though that road may wander
It will lead me to you
And a thousand years
Would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime
But somehow I'll see it through
And I won't look back
I can go the distance
And I'll stay on track
No I won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope
But I won't lose hope
Till I go the distance
And my journey is complete
But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart
Like a shooting star
I will go the distance
I will search the world
I will face its harms
I don't care how far
I can go the distance
Till I find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms...
I will search the world
I will face its harms
Till I find my hero's welcome
Waiting in your arms
I will go most anywhere
To find where I belong"
....So, what do you think...
To be blunt, as I can most often be, "帰りたくない", the title of today's blog, means "I don't want to return home." I am less than three months from standing in Charlotte, North Carolina. This tears me apart.
I have had the best weekend in the history of Miah being in Japan. My stay here only gets better and better with each day. Literally, all my friends were asking why I was so happy today. I'm just so incredibly blessed to be here and I realized that yesterday. Yesterday, was, without a doubt, the best day I've had since August 22nd. Hanging out with the coolest people in Japan tends to do that. =)
(I have a bit of a depression problem, and I haven't had a down day in quite a while, which, in any situation, is quite simply a miracle.) I couldn't wipe the smile of my face today. I think I experienced a little of what it feels like to be in God's presence.
When my friends jokingly tell me that I'm just not going home, it starts to make my heart ache because that is really what I want. Now, friends, family, the last thing I want you to think is that I don't miss and love you. That is the farthest thing from the truth. You don't know what I'd give for you to be here right now.
But here's where the song ties in. Currently in life I have a few career choices that I am considering. But with each day that I spend here, the more I feel like I have finally found the place that I belong. I have absolutely no problem seeing myself walking down the main streets of Fukuoka everyday when I'm ready to be off in the world on my own. I simply cannot express the sense of security that God has put in my life in the shape of friendships. Never have I known people to be more welcoming.
Do I feel as though I don't belong in WCCS? Rock Hill? America? Not at all. All of those places are wonderful in their own way. Are there aspects of Japan that I'm not fond of? Absolutely. But imagine when you were a little kid and were putting a puzzle together, (I hope kids still do that) and you had almost finished the entire thing, but the one in the middle that connected them all was missing. And you turned the box over and searched the entire living room floor inch by inch, until finally you found it somewhere all too obvious, like underneath a magazine right next to the puzzle. With that last sweet moment, and you fit that last piece into place, you feel a sense of accomplishment, and it all makes sense.
That is exactly where I am today, friends, family, mentors, strangers.
Does this mean I'm 100% sure that in June of 2014 I will be on a plane to Fukuoka, never to see the light of the United States again? Absolutely not. But there is something stirring inside me that says that February of 2013 will not be the last time I set foot in this beautiful city.
So for all of you nerds, you rebels, you goody two shoes, you jocks, you goth kids, you misfits, for you leaders, you followers, you people scared to grow up, you people wanting to be young again, you wanting to get out of your parent's house, you people who don't even know what to call yourself, don't give up hope on your purpose in life.
If you're willing to go the distance, one day it will be evident as to where in this puzzle you belong. Now are you just willing to go most anywhere to find where that is exactly?
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